Steps 1 to 7 had already been discussed in Part 1 & 2 of this article. I will focus on the remaining 13 points which are thus:
8. Get marriage counselling. It failed the first time for a reason. Maybe you realized that reason when it kept showing up in other relationships. Learn how to have a passionate, happy marriage that works.
9. Move in after a lot of discussion. Many 'second timers' recognize that their first courtship wasn't thoughtful or slow enough. Don't assume that moving in isn't a real 'commitment.' Again, take it slow.
10. If you plan to re-marry, set a date. Don't just jump into it, assuming you already were married so that this time "doesn't count." Set up an engagement period, go to couples counselling, pick out dress (it doesn't have to be white or fancy) and select who you will invite to the wedding. It is very important that you have a community acknowledge your (re-)commitment to each other. This should not be an after-thought. Be as serious about re-marrying your ex- as you were (or should have been) the first time.
11. Plan a honeymoon. You are building memories of your early years, even if this is a repeat. Be deliberate in where you go, what types of things you do (or don't do) while you are on your honeymoon, and make it memorable.
12. Pay attention to old fighting styles as they re-emerge, and get help right away. Learn to fight with each other in a way that is mutually respectful, keeps things in perspective, and avoids name-calling, defensiveness, criticism or stonewalling. Keep engaged in your fights, but keep a sense of humor. If you can't, get help to learn how.
13. Make a commitment to make this new marriage your last one. Commitment is a vital pillar that stabilizes relationships. Focus on the benefits of being with this person.