This piece will deal with seven steps while the remaining 13 will be done in Part 3.The seven out of thirteen steps that are necessary to rekindle such relationship are thus:-
1. Do it for the right reasons. Don't make sex the reason you are getting together. Or the kids. Or money considerations
2. Don't bring up old grievances. If the relationship is going to work out, there is plenty of time to talk about those things, hopefully in front of a trained professional. For now, just enjoy each other
3. Date like you are strangers. Don't be too 'familiar' with each other. Be respectful, kind, considerate, and thoughtful...just like you'd be with anyone you are trying to get to know
4. Have fun. More than anything, now is the time to do the things that you never allowed yourself, while you were married. Try out new restaurants. Take in a play. Walk by the water. and enjoy each other.
5. Do it alone. Be sure to go out by yourselves, not only with your children or with friends. While it might feel more comfortable having a "buffer," when the two of you decide to "try again," include time alone, in a public place, as well as in your home.
6. Put sexual intercourse off for as long as possible. That's right...be teenagers, and explore all the wonderful ways to be intimate with one another that doesn't result in pregnancy. Focus on arousal, not orgasm, and make it last.
7. Mutually agree on when you will announce to your friends and family that you are once again "an item." It can cause hard feelings when one of you tells everyone you know that you are "getting back together," when that wasn't what your ex- had in mind. Agree when you will "make it official."