Stop Pleasing People and Feel Awesome Instead! For some, learning how to say no can be one of the hardest things. If you are constantly saying “yes” and don’t want to, it might be making you miserable.
Here are tips on how to overcome it:
#1 Don’t over explain. The key to saying no is not to over explain. You don’t have to give someone your entire schedule or explain why you can’t do something. Just like it is anyone’s prerogative to ask for a favor, it is your prerogative to say no. If really is that simple.
#2 First come, first serve. Develop a first come, first serve policy. If they ask for a favor, make it fit your life, not the other way around.
#3 Offer an alternative date/time/situation. If someone asks you for a favor and you can’t do it, find out if there is another time that you can help them out.
#4 Try negotiation. Negotiation is a great tool to help you feel less used. Over time, if all you ever do is say yes, even when you don’t want to, you begin to feel used. It will have a real consequence on your self-esteem.
#5 Think of the worst-case scenario coming from the word “no.” Fear can be a very persuasive motivator. If you want to say no but are afraid to, try to think about what the worst possible thing from telling someone you can’t or won’t do something is.
#6 Realize your self-worth is not in doing things for people. If always saying yes isn’t making you happy, then you let yourself down. You can’t define your self-worth by what you do for other people. If you do, you are always going to feel pretty worthless.
#7 Create boundaries. There are going to be some people who abuse your kindness and turn to you for everything in their life. It is important to recognize those people who take advantage of your generosity.